Alright, so I had a bit of a stomach bug yesterday, and felt well and truly awful. I couldn't eat anything. To fix it, I thought I'd take the age old home remedy of a platter of heavy deep fried food, what you see here: Chicken nuggets, popcorn shrimp, onion rings, and french fries, all made from scratch. And what a colorful presentation it made!

-4 chicken breasts, cut into nuggety chunks.
-1 pound of shrimp, precooked, deveined, and deshelled.
-1 yellow onion, cut into rings.
-5 russet potatoes, cut into fries.
-1 can bread crumbs.
-7 eggs.
-flour, garlic powder, salt, black pepper.
-peanut oil.

Combined the bread crumbs with the other dry ingredients, saved the flour, which was in a bowl by itself. Stirred the eggs to make an eggwash. Then, more or less, you roll what you want fried in the flour, then the eggwash, then the breadcrumb mix, and into the fryer with the peanut oil. I had it at 375 degrees Farenheit. After each item was done, I'd hit it with a bit of salt, and the shrimp I squeezed lemon juice onto. We ate all this with three sauces: honey mustard, cocktail sauce, and buffalo ranch. Shaun made the buffalo ranch, Mike made the other two. Over all it was pretty good.
Can't tell you how well the cure is going to work on my delicate guts, but you know, all those old wives tales are pretty hit and miss. Ring the porcelain bell!

I've just reconsidered my stance vis-à-vis Jeremy pooping on Gizmo, so I've decided to post the results of tonight's entry into Operation: Don't-Starve-To-Death-The-Minute-We're-Left-To-Fend-For-Ourselves. I'm happy to report that the operation was a success; we've postponed the inevitable time when I have to try to tackle Shaun and eat him by at least another evening or two.

We produced two pies tonight, the first is Chicken with Black Beans and Peppers(Red and Yellow):


The second, a more traditional Ham and Pepperoni with Peppers(also Red and Yellow):

Unfortunately all physical evidence has been destroyed, leaving these photos as the only evidence that it all even happened. I post them here so that in the days to come, half-mad with starvation, I can look back at them with jaws sore from chewing on Shaun and think back to a happier time when I had foods that didn't taste like sweaty gristle and Axe body spray.

Okay everyone, It's time to start posting regularly again to the food blog. Yes, I mean you, and especially you. We're all guilty. If you don't start posting regularly again, I'm gonna poop on Gizmo. Mhmm. You read that right. Poop. Look, it's even in the labels, so you know its official.

Hey, why wouldn't I post a restaurant review? Don't have an answer do ya shithead? Shaddap. I'll make it quick.

We've hit this place a couple times. They have killer deep dish pizza, made so because of its thick, soft, and flaky crust. They do these baked potatoes...wait for it.....as an entree! WTF? They're huge. Amber ordered one once and then, true story, brought a 747 screaming down into the parking lot with her new found gravitational pull. Also, something happened with the tides, but I don't remember. It was on the news, look it up.

Other super notable thing about the place is its house made sodas. They do a root beer, black cherry, and orange cream. I am particularly fond of the black cherry, iz sour. So there you go, that didn't hurt, did it? Ring the bell!

Dear Diary,

Gee you sure have missed out on a whole heck of a lot in the past few months. I'll fill you in on the juiciest bits:















Did you get all that? Okay bye.

P.S. Ring the bell!

Yeah, the pictures aren't gonna win any prizes, so what? Wanna fight about it? Listen all, its been a little while since my last post, and by "little while" I mean what, like 2/3rds of a year or something? Maybe I feel like a bit of a sloth for it, but it's okay. You forgive me.

This was pretty much what the title suggests. Can't give you exact measurements for anything, I winged it pretty hard here. Basically it went like this:

-4 small boneless pork loin chops, cubed.
-1/2 a medium yellow onion, diced.
-2 decent size peaches, chopped.
-1 jalapeno, completely emasculated by de-seeding and de-veining (because that woman o' mine is the wimp that other wimps call a wimp.)
-1 can of sweet corn, drained.
-1 can of black beans, drained.
-rice
-1 very ripe/black plantain.
-ground ginger, ground allspice, salt, black pepper, brown and white sugar.
-vegetable oil, olive oil.

More or less what I did was dust the pork cubes in cornstarch and fry them in very hot oil to blacken them a bit, and then reduced the heat to medium/medium-high. I had already mixed all the produce but the plantains in a bowl with a bit of salt, pepper, and olive oil. The resulting relish was added to the pork skillet. In another pan I added the plantains which I had dusted with light brown sugar into some medium-high heat vegetable oil. They cooked approximately 2-3 minutes per side, and were pulled out when they were dark and almost amber in color. The pork and relish cooked for about 10 minutes I think. It was plated on a bed of white rice, and then the plantains (or maduros as the dish is actually called) on the side. I gave another quick dusting to the maduros with white sugar this time and a bit of salt after they were hot and just out of the oil. I meant to hit the whole dish with some lime juice just as it was done, but I forgot to do that.

That's it. That's all. It was good. Amber liked it. Dust it off, and ring the bell!